Hello again.

Well ain't this grand. I hadn't planned to come on here again, and I certainly hadn't planned to read through all my old posts to remember what a little twat I was, but life's funny and here we go.

 Last time I posted on here was about two years ago now (at the start of 2011), and so much has changed. But also not a lot has changed. I'm a little older, and a little wiser. And, seeing as you're giving me the time of day to read this, I suppose I'd better give you a TL;DR of what's happened in the last two years.

2011
2011 was a funny one. Last year at high school, I had some really awesome friends and discovered the internet. Like, the 'fun' side of the internet. I spent a lot of time on /b/ and simultaneously hadn't passed the stage on facebook where I constantly had to update every single aspect of my life like I AM EATING A BANANA. I think I started or had only just started doing roleplaying at this point, funfun. This was also the time of where the mass string of sleepovers began. Possibly. I can't remember, my memory's a combination of THC and mush. I had a boyfriend and actually, despite everything, he was alright. No, actually, he was a cock. He kept comparing me to his ex and making me feel shit about what I looked like, and how I acted, and for my emotions. Yeah, fuck that guy. Saying that, I thought the world of him at the time, and he may have made me feel shit about the way I was but he also made me feel good about myself. He may have made comments about things but he was also one of the first people to call me beautiful or anything like that. It was a strange love hate relationship that, looking back, wasn't love at all. We also broke up. I found Reddit and Tumblr and shit, although that may too have been earlier (mushbrain). My friend group is expanding by this point and Labyrinth is great and things are fab, aside from the whole "I have an eating disorder!" phase of this, which is totally shit. But that's irrelevant. Labyrinth Halloween party 2011, still with Ian (by about a DAY) (and by about, I mean exactly) and there are two guys there and I like them both and because I am an indecisive knob I dick around and am a complete twat to one of them. He's one of my closest friends now and I'm so glad about that because I hurt him and so many other people. :( I end up dating the other one for a few months. We saw Kasabian together and had general fun and THUS WAS THE END OF 2011

2012
Oh, God, so eventful. SO EVENTFUL. Me and Calum start talking which was probably the best decision of my life. January was pretty uneventful, I think. Me and him started hanging out and stuff. Labyrinth also have a load of parties and I'm still with Luke by February but by March/April, we had broken up. GCSEs had started here, or revision for them I should say, and I'd had a proper mental breakdown because on New Year's 2009/2010 I got sexually assaulted/raped (and I can't remember which because my brain has blocked it out which is really shit so I don't actually know if he took my virginity on that night but that's NOT THE POINT because I'm still totally fucked up from it) and I started self harming. Ian saw my scars and he got back in contact with me and on 4/20 we got stoned together and he kissed me. I started this bullshit trying-to-get-back-in-a-relationship thing and I am ashamed of it to this day. Totally shitty, I carried on dicking around with him and being treated like shit by him. After I'd been dicked around enough, I realised I had been a fucking idiot and Calum was the person who I should spend my time with. Not even for a relationship but just because he really was my best friend. We started smoking pot together and he cheered me up no end. It's around this point that I piss off one of the people who meant the most to me. (Elly, I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. Josie, you too. And anyone else who I hurt.) Me and Calum get pissed together, get stoned together (most notably before our RE GCSE. I got a B.) and spend most of our time together. Early June we get stoned, have sex. June 11th, we're a couple. Happiest girl in the world. Spend summer with new friend Jordan and old friends on 'bridge' smoking and soaking up the sun and generally having the best time. Septeber, we start college! Yay! Still summer-y weather, spend most lunchtimes making friends down by 'stoner tree' doing - well, you've guessed it. Making some really fucking awesome friends. Ben and Stutt are two of the best friends I could have ever wished for. Everything is good with the world. Except I started on hormonal contraceptives and they send my mood haywire and I have ups and downs and occasionally cut (a really bad patch in october) but it's nearly christmas and my mood is up and I spent the first second of New Year's in Calum's arms.

2013 so far
It's been alright. Nothing major's happened. I feel a lot more mature about things, I have constant leg twitches that are probably down to stress but I still have the greatest boyfriend ever and despite the fact I'll occasionally cry, things are actually going a-ok.

:)